I will try to fix you

Well, the Dolphins are in their all too familiar late season slump, which actually started in Week 3 this year. I am perplexed with their inability to win at home this year, and I really had high hopes. After last year, it looked like they were going to be a team on the rise. It looked like Henne was going to be a pretty solid starter. At least it looked like we could win some games with him. Then he took a huge few hundred steps backward as the season went along. More than anything, I just don't like his body language. He looks too often like someone shot his dog when he makes a mistake. And he's made plenty of mistakes this year. I am resigned to believe that he will never reach the level of consistency to be a leader. This bothers me even more when I see QBs like Matt Ryan and Aaron Rodgers playing at a Pro Bowl level (these are just two of the QBs we have passed on in recent years).

So even though I know that Stephen Ross will never read this, I'm going to offer my help. Things were easier when H. Wayne Huizenga was the owner. He made his share of mistakes, but he always tried to put a winner on the field. Wayne made a ton of blunders along the way. He hired Saban and gave him full control. Then he hired Cam Cameron, which I still don't understand. He also hired Parcells, which I thought would be a great move for us. But, even after The Tuna is leaving the team, we aren't a playoff caliber team. Meanwhile, the Jets have improved and the Patriots just keep on reloading. And we're nowhere near those teams right now.
But I can't handle bellyaching about anything with no offer of a solution. So here, Mr. Ross, is my solution for solving the Dolphins' problems and moving us forward to put a better team on the field, if there is football in 2011.

1. Find a quarterback. Chad Henne is not it. He looked like he might get it figured out, and I defended him relentlessly at the first of the season. But he’s regressed as quickly as anyone I’ve ever seen. I say you draft a guy this year and see what happens. Make him your day one starter and let’s see what he’s made of. Ryan Mallett will be available. So will Jake Locker. I’m particularly interested in Locker. Last year, I thought he was it. This year he has been terrible. So maybe you don’t have to trade up to get him. I have watched this team pass on QBs like Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and Matt Ryan. In that time, we have selected QBs like Henne, John Beck and Pat White. Ridiculous. Embarrassing. This is a QB driven league. Look at the teams in the playoffs. Except for the Jets, they all have QBs who are either established or on their way. Also, let me say this. I am right about QBs more often than the experts. My exact words on Henne when we drafted him? “I really wasn’t impressed with him in college. But I trust The Tuna.” Yeah. So I’m smarter than Parcells apparently, because I prayed for Matt Ryan. Gotta have a QB. And it doesn’t help when Steve Young calls Ryan “The Next Generation’s Tom Brady.” I love Jake Long, but he’s not the next Tom Brady.

Let me say this about Henne. I know he’s only been a starter for two seasons. And I know he’s going to make some mistakes as a young players. I knew he wasn’t an NFL QB when he came in after Pennington got hurt, after being benched for Pennington. He walked into the game like someone had just shot his dog. I don’t like his body language. And I don’t like his demeanor. He may be the most competitive guy in the world, but I want to see it. I want to see some emotion. Besides depression.

2. Keep Jeff Ireland and Tony Sparano. I think Ireland is a pretty good GM. And I really believe that Sparano is a pretty good coach. He's getting better at managing games on Sunday. And I think he's good with his players. I don't feel like it makes a lot of sense to go after a big name coach right now. Let's see how those guys do without Parcells making the final call. May I remind you that Henne was Parcells' guy?

3. Forget about defense. You have played good enough defense this year to win 12 games. But we can't score. In fact, the Dolphins haven't even scored 30 points in any game this year. They're 31st in scoring, and have no scary players on offense. We have no speed on offense.

4. Speaking of speed on offense, I’m afraid that this might have been the last year for the Ricky and Ronnie show. I would love to keep Ronnie. And I think we should. But he is going to have to take less money. Ricky is gone. So is Dan Henning. We had the most boring offense in the league this year. And he wouldn’t give up on the Wildcat, even when it brought drives to a screeching halt. Get a new O-coordinator. Maybe even promote QB coach David Lee to the job, if you want consistency. Get a fast RB and a TE that can take advantage of the middle of the field. You need a speed WR as well, preferably someone who can actually catch.

5. Also, get an ILB that isn’t Channing Crowder. He’s slower than me.

6. Keep Mike Nolan. He turned our defense around this year.

7. Hire me as a scout. I can find you a QB. QBs I said would be good that I have been right about? Try Ryan, Brees, McNabb, Roethlisberger and Rivers, just to name a few. QBs I said couldn't do it at the pro level and I have been wrong about? Looks like Sam Bradford is going to be pretty good after all, which I didn't see. But in my defense, he didn't even play last season. Vick has become a good NFL starter, and I could end up missing on Tebow. But I guarantee Jimmy Clausen isn't getting any better. The Panthers better hope Andrew Luck comes out. And if they have to hire Jim Harbaugh to make that happen, then there you go.

These are just a few thoughts that I had after watching us lay an egg against the Lions this weekend. I’m sure I could come up with more. But to sit back and watch the Patriots win another Super Bowl is going to be hard, knowing we’re not even close to challenging them, and they got younger and better this year. Gah.

Now seems like a pretty good time for an end of the year rant (Part 1)

I got a bee in my bonnet about something today (probably sports-related, for those of you who want to stop reading now), and I decided that I really haven't lately used this blog for the main reason I originally started it -- ranting. So, since the year is almost over anyway, I may as well make up for lost time. So here it is, my big rant for the year. If you don't want to hear me gripe or don't care about my opinions, turn back before it's too late. It's my rant. You don't have to agree with it, but it's still mine. Make your own. OK, so really, here we go.

For the umpteen-thousandth time, I care about two sports: football and basketball. To say I care is to say that I am only passionate about those two sports. And the only teams I care about are the Miami Dolphins (football, kinda) and the University of North Carolina Tar Heels (college basketball/football). I care about these two teams and that is all. I am not invested otherwise.

If we are talking about favorite college teams and I ask you who your favorite team is and your reply starts with, "Well, in football . . . ", the conversation is over. Pick a school and root for their athletics. It makes you look less bandwagony and also saves you a lot of money in T-shirts.

Speaking of sports, if you haven't said two words to me in five years and you decide to end your silence by talking smack about my team just because yours finally made it past the second round, just don't.

Note: I don't talk smack because I can't take it. Yes, there was a time when I enjoyed arguing about everything. Just ask anyone within earshot of me in the FHU cafeteria circa 1993-97. But those days are gone now. I do like to have conversations with knowledgeable fans of all teams, who support their teams without the need to belittle someone else. I have even had grown-up conversations with Duke fans. Jets fans? Different story.

Oh, that reminds me. I hate Duke. I hate the Jets. I don't hate their fans or players. I use the word hate a lot in sports, only because the words "loathe" and "disdain" do not hit the same chord.

Here's the deal. If you are a Duke fan, then you hate Carolina. And if you are a Jets fan . . . well, pretty much you hate the world. I have softened a lot on rivalries. I have had some Duke fans in my youth group over the years, so I have softened a little. I still love when they lose, but it doesn't bother me as much when they win. And I don't talk smack . . . ever. Did I mention that?

When I say I don't talk smack, I mean I don't initiate it. I can still bring it.

Why do you stop liking a band after they get big? Do you want them to live in a van and go broke so they can't make any more records? If you stop liking a band because others started liking them, you never liked them anyway. Some people just want to say they knew them when . . . I hate that.

Did I mention I used to be one of those people?

I'm not talking about people who like listening to stuff that no one else listens to. I don't like pop music either. At least I don't think I do. I don't put labels on stuff anymore. Don asked me the other day what kind of music I listened to, and I didn't know what to say. Do people still use the word "alternative"?

Everything I listen to sounds like it came out in the 60s or 80s anyway.

Speaking of music, I like the Jonas Brothers. There. I said it. Don't care.

In fact, let me just say that the music my girls like isn't bad. It's not written for me, but it's not painful to listen to. Regarding that ilk, I include: The Jo-Bros, Allstar Weekend and, yes . . . Justin Bieber. Is it Mozart? Heck no. But I'd rather listen to Justin Bieber for 12 hours than anything by the cast of Glee for twenty seconds. And yes, I said that too.

Look, I'm not a music scholar. Don't start telling me how juvenile something is. Music is supposed to induce an emotional response. And if it's fun, it's just fun. I'm not a music critic or music snob. Like what you like and don't listen to what other people listen to just to seem cooler. Don't degrade what someone else listens to either. Disney Channel doesn't write music targeting 30 year olds. My kids don't like The Pixies. I don't tell them they're stupid. I just turn it up.

Not too long ago, I was driving and turning left. I waited at the light until I obviously received the green arrow. Only thing is, there was someone on the opposite side of the road from me that was trying to turn right into the lane I was turning left into. I had the light. I had the right of way. And this guy throws his arms up at me like I had no idea what I was doing. Reason #74 I do not need to get a gun permit.

I heard Apple is coming out with the iPad 2 by April of next year. Can't wait to see the line for that one. I admit I am an Apple enthusiast. Love the products and the ease and style they offer. However, I do not consider myself an Apple snob. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're probably an Apple snob.

Q. How do you know if someone has an iPhone?
A. They tell you.

"Steve Jobs is the man." - Apple Enthusiast
"In the beginning, Steve Jobs created . . . " - Apple Snob

I'm making fun of Apple snobs while typing on a MacBook. Yes, I am the worst kind of hypocrite.

I'm not the most patriotic person you'll ever meet, but when did the American Flag become an embarrassment in this country? I don't mind you waving your home country's flag wherever, even in this country, but when kids get sent home from school for showing pride in America? Something's wrong with that.

I don't get into politics. But I do wish our next president would be so much like Ronald Reagan they'd have to do a DNA test to make sure he wasn't.

I realize that makes me sound old. Don't care.

Well, I have to go pick up the kids from school. I'll try to do part 2 tonight. I can't be finished ranting yet. I haven't even started talking movies yet.

Everyone knows Kobe loves to shoot

Just for the record, I don't like Kobe Bryant.

That said, I may as well weigh in on this Kobe thing. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, click on this link:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/commentary/news/story?page=keown/101116

Let me first say I've never had anyone close to me killed with a gun. I don't know what it feels like to lose someone close to me in a violent fashion. And I don't know what it's like to be in a gang or live around gangs or whatever. I don't know a lot of things about the culture of violence, but I do know this: Kobe Bryant being in a commercial for Call of Duty isn't going to make me want to buy a gun and go on a killing spree.

OK, I get that the video game is violent. And I do agree that we have, to a great degree, become desensitized to violence through media. I get that part. What I don't get is how people continue to blame video games and rock bands and movies for young people being violent. To me, it sounds like the same people who blame McDonald's for making people fat. I know I'm old, but I remember a time when you took some personal responsibility for your actions. And parents used to take responsibility for raising their kids. But it's easier to blame someone else. It's easier to blame fast food for being overweight. It's easier to blame TV for your kids' rotten behavior. It's easier to blame the internet for your addiction to porn. It's easier to blame the bartender for your DUI. It's easier to blame your frustrations at work for the bruises on your wife's face. And it's easier to blame Kobe for failing society than to take responsibility to sit down with my kids and talk with them about the violent content of these games. Hey, I'm not letting the media off the hook. I hate some of the stuff they put on TV. But if I don't pay attention to what my kids watch, play and pick up at school, then I'm failing as a parent.

I heard something the other day on the radio as the hosts of a show were talking about Columbine, and the horrific events of that day. And, of course, Marilyn Manson was responsible for that. But when Manson was interviewed in the movie "Bowling For Columbine" about the shooting and how the kids who did it idolized him, they asked him what he would have said to the two teens who did this. Manson replied, "I wouldn't say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say, and that's what no one did."

And just for the record, I don't like Marilyn Manson either.

ACL!

OK, so I’m sitting here in the Atlanta airport, and I have an hour before my plane boards. So the good news is that I made it on time. The bad news is . . . it’s the Atlanta airport. So I’m going to try to find some way to pass the time. And how better to pass the time than to talk about this weekend. And what’s going on this weekend? OK . . . enough drama. I’m ending it. This weekend is Austin City Limits Music Festival, and I am going. I’m only going Friday and Saturday, but I am very excited about the 12 bands that I will be seeing.

You see, live music is kind of cathartic for me. I would rather go to a concert than a football game. Of course, if you saw the Dolphins play this past Monday, you probably thinks that has a whole lot to do with it. Well, it doesn’t. I would rather go see a good live show than any sporting event I can think of. I like music and I am very excited to see these bands this weekend, some more than others. I’m actually going to rank the bands from 1-12 (in order of my excitedness), because I also like ranking stuff. But I am going to start by going back through some of the bands I’ve seen and ranking the top ten live songs I have seen. These are going to be according to me, but you’re welcome to comment and let me know what you like. You see, when you’re at a concert, there’s always one song that blows you away. I have a lot to do in the next hour, so I had better get started.

First, the top ten live songs I have seen (according to me):
10. Father of Mine - Everclear (Memphis)
9. Sincerely, Me - Better Than Ezra (Somewhere in Mississippi)
8. Beautiful Day - U2 (Houston)
7. Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa - Vampire Weekend (ACL)
6. Aurora - Foo Fighters (ACL)
5. Everlong - Foo Fighters (Pensacola)
4. Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World (Pensacola)
3. Starlight - Muse (Houston)
2. When You Were Young - The Killers (Miami)
1. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - REM (St. Louis)

So there you go. Those are some great songs, made even better by seeing them live. I’ve said it before and I will say it again -- there’s nothing better than live music. You can’t see the passion on a record. Anyway, it’s great. I can’t wait for this weekend. Here are the bands in the order that I want to see them. Gosh, I just really feel like making lists today.

12. Phish - Don’t know one song. But it is Phish.
11. LCD Soundsystem - Just started listening to them, and I think they’re breaking up. Great timing.
10. Manchester Orchestra - Just started listening. I think I will like them more after seeing them live.
9. Broken Bells - Love the album. We’ll see how they are live.
8. Hockey - Originally one of the two bands I was most excited about seeing.
7. Temper Trap - The other one.
6. Vampire Weekend - They’d be higher if I hadn’t seen them already.
5. Miike Snow - Just started listening to them a few months ago.
4. Silversun Pickups - Already seen them. They’ve quickly become one of my top ten favorite bands.
3. The Gaslight Anthem - I hear they are amazing live.
2. Muse - This will be my third time to see them, and they bring it. Never gets old.
1. Spoon - I know. I’m surprised too. But when I didn’t think I was going to get to go, I immediately thought about not getting to see Spoon. I’ve never seen them. But that will change this weekend.

So I guess that’s it. I’m on the airplane right now and I’m landing in Houston in about 45 minutes. This is going to be a great weekend. I’m going to make sure to take a chair this year.

Tooth and Nail

OK, I haven't blogged in a while. Been kinda busy of late. It was a fantastic summer, but it was still busy. I have a great youth group, but again, it keeps me busy. And my partner, Matthew, has moved to another area of ministry at Bammel. I'm happy for the little guy, but I'm still in the process of trying to figure out how to do this on my own. So there is a transition. During this transition, one thing I've really started doing is praying more. Admittedly, sometimes for me praying at all is an achievement. And it's not that I don't have things to pray about. But after the summer was over, you'd think since I had spent so much time around these kids and talked about God that I would be closer to him than ever. Not the case. In fact, I actually felt like I was farther away from him than before. I don't know how that could be possible, but I just wasn't feeling him daily. I started to question so many things. And then I fell across a passage that I have heard a million times, but I needed to hear it that million and . . . oneth.

James 4:8 "Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world." (NLT)

I've read and heard that passage so many times, but this time was different. This time I needed to hear it more than any other time in my life. I was moving away from God and my loyalty was divided so much, that God was barely getting a sliver of my time. So I started praying. And pretty soon, I was enjoying it. Pretty soon, I was dying to pray for others. Heck, I was just making lists of people to pray over. We have started talking on Sunday morning about loving God with all of our prayer (read Mark 12:30 from The Message). So I'm trying to figure out what that looks like. So far, it's done wonders for me as I seek God more clearly.

But something else happened to. This past Sunday, Rick and Matt talked from the pulpit about two plans for your life -- God's and Satan's. And it makes sense. If God has a plan for your life, you'd think Satan would come up with something completely opposite from that. And so the more I started praying, the more I started feeling a battle going on. Now that I am seeking God more on a daily basis, I can feel Satan almost being threatened by that. Kind of feels like I'm under attack. Of course, when we aren't seeking God, it's not like Satan has to do a whole lot. But when we get off our rumps and start moving toward God, I guess Satan's radar goes off and he starts moving in closer maybe. I don't know. But it's got me to thinking about the battle over my soul. And I know there is one going on. And that led me to an idea for our high school retreat. I got this image of fighting for your life and what that looks like. And in the animal kingdom, it really is a battle for survival. So you see them go at it completely, with every tooth and every nail (claw). And that's how I imagine us fighting Satan. We are in a battle every day for our souls. The question is "how hard will you fight to save yourself?"

I'm excited about our retreat now, and I hope God blesses it as we really get deep in our discussion over how hard we're willing to fight. In the meantime, I just kind of make myself laugh a little when I feel a little temptation creep into my head. When your eyes are open and you can see Satan's tricks, it's really quite funny to see how desperate he's willing to get. So I'll keep praying, and I'll keep seeking God. And Satan will keep fighting and he'll keep after me with his little tricks. And he might win a few battles. But I can tell you this, he's going to have a fight on his hands. And I'm already on the winning team.

Movies I've Been Looking At

OK, so I saw Inception for the second time a week or so ago, and I have to say that I liked it much better. And in the days following, now that I've had time to digest it fully, I really really like it. The more I think about it, the more I like it. It's like that album by one of your favorite bands that you don't really like the first time you listen through it (see: Futures by Jimmy Eat World). But once you listen to it a few times, you realize how brilliant it is (see: Futures by Jimmy Eat World). The thing about it is that the movie is a mind-bender. So this has gotten me in the mood to see some mind-bending movies. Add to that the fact that I read an article in some magazine that ranked the top ten most confusing movies of all-time. So I decided to go through them.

So far, I've gone through Vanilla Sky and Memento (again). I rented Donnie Darko last night, but I couldn't stay up to watch it because I was tired. I really wanted to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind anyway. I have to say, even though I risk ruining the whole movie for everyone, that I don't get why Vanilla Sky is the most confusing movie of all-time. They spend the last fifteen minutes of the movie sewing it up nice and tight. It almost explains itself too well for my taste. It takes all the debate out of what really happened. The thing I like about movies is the same thing I like about songs. I love it when you can take your own interpretation away and it can mean whatever you want it to mean. That's the beauty of art. If someone spells it out for you, I call that "Pop" art. And I don't like "Pop" anything, except "Corn." Huzzah!

Memento is brilliant. I think more people know about Inception, but Chris Nolan is just the man. Memento, in my opinion, is still a better movie to me than Inception. I'm a little concerned about Nolan at this point. My fear is that he's going to start drinking his own Kool-Aid and begin to believe the "genius" stuff. Then he's going to try to out-think himself and end up ruining his rep (see: M. Night Shyamalan, Bill Belichick). But until then, I'm going to enjoy his films, because he is the best filmmaker around. And I'm sorry, but it's not even close. I like his movies. I am anxious to give my friend M. Night another shot, though. Seems he has a new movie he wrote coming out sometime. I'll probably see that. Probably won't be seeing Green Hornet or Yogi Bear. Seriously, Hollywood, how much money do you have to lose on stupid films before you realize some movies don't need to be made? Yogi Bear? Is anyone really going to see this? My fear is that they're going to feel the need to "adult it up." So not only will I not be seeing it, my kids won't either. My prediction for both these films is disaster.

Summer 2011, on the other hand, holds some pretty good films that I'm probably going to be catching. I'm very upbeat for Captain America and Green Lantern. But I have to admit that, again, some movies don't need to be made. And just because it was a comic book, that doesn't mean it would make a good movie. Ugh. When will they learn? Oh, and I'm really hoping to see an Aquaman movie. I think that might be the worst idea in the history of comic book movies. Right up there with Ghost Rider.

On The Way Home

Yep, it's been 10 days. 10 days filled with good times and a few less blood vessels in my brain as well. The trip to Hungary was a huge success. I'm proud to be a part of such a solid team. I really made some friends on this trip, and I can't wait to go back. I really feel like I made a connection with many of the teens at the camp. It was so much fun, and I was blessed to be there. I also met some new folks that I didn't know already that were a part of our team. I was amazed at how everyone did their job so effectively. I got to be a little silly during skit time and such, and that was fun as well. The church there in Miskolc is a good group of people and they are doing good work. The Hungarians who used to be campers and are now counselors are just amazing. I didn't know a lick of Hungarian (still don't), but it didn't matter. Many of the teens knew at least enough English to carry on a conversation. And that helped me a ton. I found out that one of the teens, Denes, loves music and plays the guitar. So we are going to start a band. As long as I get creative control.

We got started this morning at 2:30. The bus picked us up and carried us to the airport in Budapest. Then we hopped on a flight to London. And now we're sitting in Heathrow Airport, and I'm dying to talk a little "Revolutionary War" junk with some of the locals. But I'm trying to get myself psyched up for this 10 hour flight back to Houston, and the jet lag that will ensue. I was initially a little hesitant about being gone so far from home for so long. I can't wait to see Stacy and the girls tonight, love on them and tell them about the trip. Oh, and show them the 7 pictures I took. I swear, I've got to get a camera.

The best part is that my back held up through the whole process. I know this long flight is not going to be much fun. But I'm on the back of the plane, and it won't be a problem to stand up a little bit every hour or two. If I can stay awake at all. But I'm taking Tuesday off to recuperate, and I'll be back at it Wednesday, ready to hit the home stretch on the summer. I mean, we still have MS Stretch, Lock In and Camp. Oh, and 8th Grade Sneak. Yeah, we still got some stuff left to do. But for those of you in the youth group, I've missed you too. I can't wait to be back with you and finish this summer strong. You guys are amazing, and I realized how blessed I am this week to be able to work with the best kids on the planet. And I also work in the best office on the planet. I can't wait to get back in the office. I have a hunch "quiet time" is over.

Well, it's about time to drape myself in the American Flag again and run around the airport. See ya in about 12 hours, Houston.

Hungary - Day Thursday

Well, it's getting to be close to bedtime here at the camp, and everyone (well, most everyone) is winding down and getting ready for a big day tomorrow. Tomorrow is the last day of camp, and it's really bittersweet. On the one hand, the team has put in a full week of hard work and I've met a ton of kids and had a blast teaching them and getting to know them a little this week. On the other hand, I am ready to be home. This has been an amazing trip, but seeing the end of the road makes me realize that we've done a great job here and now it's the time when I look forward to being back in my own bed.

Again, I will say that I have enjoyed this trip immensely. I hope that I will be able to come back, if not next year, in two years. It's a great trip and if you ever get the chance, you should go. It's hard to describe to anyone who hasn't made the trip, just like it was impossible for those who had been before when they tried to explain it to me. There are really good people here. And this trip has had pretty much ZERO drama. That's a bonus. Or maybe I have just been shielded from it. And I'm OK with that too.

Robyn and I went to the market area after everything was over today, and it was good to find out that walking by a construction site in Hungary is much like walking past a construction site in the US. Ah, some things are universal. Today was a great day, though, for real. I realized that I should have been drinking a Coke Zero after lunch every day. I was fired up after lunch, which has been a problem for me this week. But not today. Oh, carbonation and caffeine, you are truly friends of mine. Good to know that some things are universal.

Well, I am going to be boring and sign off for now. I just realized today that I have no idea what is going on in the world of sports. Wow, huh? That kind of feels good to know that I can focus on something else for at least a week. Of course, I've eaten enough chocolate this week to kill a pack of wolves, so that kind of makes up for everything. Good to know some things are universal.

Hungary, Day Wednesday - The Day That Will Live In Infamy

Today was a rough day for the Green Group. First of all, the Green Group is the younger group of teenagers. And it appears to me to be the biggest group. They had their hands full today. It was pretty much chaos. I think Laurie had an aneurysm. I threatened to take my own life. It was not a banner day for the Green Group. They weren’t on their best behavior today. But we press on. There were many good things that did happen today. For example, 4:00 came and camp was over for the day. And 6:15 is going to come soon, and we’ll go eat dinner. And then 10:00 will come and I’ll be asleep. So all in all, it’s been a pretty good day.

OK, it wasn’t that bad. OK, it was, but still . . . I’m not saying anything negative about the trip. It was a hard day to keep everyone in line, and that’s it. No one is even remotely intimating that this trip isn’t going well. Heck, I’ve had times when I’m teaching American kids that I know I don’t have their attention and if I set my hair on fire they wouldn’t wake up. And that’s been going on for 11 years. You don’t really think I’m going to let one bad day at Camp Miskolc break me, do you? No, it was a bump in the road in what is otherwise going to be a smooth ride. It happens. The work here is great, and greatly needed as well.

(Later, after dinner and devotional)

Yeah, we just had a great dinner. This Italian restaurant served up some very tasty lasagna. One serving is enough for two people. I ate all of mine, and still had room for dessert. OK, so I didn’t have room. I crammed it in. And you know what? It was worth it! We practiced our skit tonight after devotional. As soon as I heard that our skit tomorrow featured Zaccheus, I turned to Robyn and said, “Three guesses who’s going to be playing the lead tomorrow. Let’s pick on the short guy.” So I will now, at least for the rest of the week, be known as the “wee little man.” But it’s fun. Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever. I can feel it.

I can tell that I’m going to be going to bed pretty soon. It’s been a long day and I didn’t get to talk to my wife and kids today. I know they’re doing well and Stacy is really busy with VBS. I’m saving my minutes. This morning, I got a text message from the good folks at AT&T. They told me that I was running up a pretty steep bill, because I had failed to get an international package. But the rep was kind and signed me up for one retroactive to my trip. Nice of him to do so, because he saved me about $300. Whoopsa-Daisy!

So I’m signing off for the evening. I’m going to try to get this posted and then get some sleep. But I am checking my email too. Everyone is doing well and hanging in there. You’d be proud of your group, Bammel. There is good work going on here, and I hope everyone will sign up to come over here to help out one summer. It’s so worth it.

Hungary - Day Tuesday

OK, so here we are wrapping up Day 2 of Camp Miskolc. I will say, on a personal note, that today was much better than yesterday. I really didn’t know what to expect yesterday, and kind of felt like I left something on the field. Well, today, I left it all on the court. Maybe that was the problem. I was playing the wrong sport. Today was much smoother from beginning to end. I felt more comfortable. I felt like I did a better job working with the interpreter. I felt like God walked me through exactly what he wanted me to say, and to leave out what he didn’t. So, like I said, it was a good day.

I like Hungary. It’s a very safe-feeling place. It’s a good place to walk around. Daniel, Javier and I walked home from dinner this evening and enjoyed the cool night air. We stopped off and got some gelato, which made me feel even safer. Funny, because the flavor I got was “American Chocolate.” Yeah, I’m that daring. Hungary is full of adventure just like that. Dinners have been great. The weather has been exquisite. It’s funny what they refer to as “hot” over here. I’ve been getting plenty of sleep and wearing out really early, especially for me. But I’ve figured out that I’m not getting anywhere close to the caffeine intake I normally get back home. I mean, before lunch I’ve usually put away 36 ounces of Diet Dr Pepper. I don’t think I’ll drink as much soda this trip as I do in one day in America. Unless you count the 16 sodas I’m going to have on the flight from London to Houston.

I marvel at people like Roxi Crews, who I got to watch for the first time today as she taught class. I know now what keeps her coming back here over and over time and again. There is such good work going on here. These kids are being fed the good news of Jesus from people who live what they are teaching. I’ve enjoyed getting to know some of the crew that I didn’t already know. And I’ve enjoyed not being the only “newbie” on the trip. But it’s been a good experience thus far, and I anticipate more good things happening. There was one baptism today, a girl who has been coming here for the past three years. She’s been thinking about it, and today decided that she’d give her life to God. Like I said, there are good things happening here.

Everyone is good. I’m particularly proud of Annie, Javier and Daniel, who represent our youth group. I’m also proud of Paul, Jonathan, Robyn and Jessica, who were at one point in my youth group as well. These kids . . . they’re the goods, I tell you. And Christi, if you’re reading this, I miss you and wish you were here. But there will be more opportunities. I just hope you’re getting better.

So I guess I’m going to sign off for now. To Stacy and Lily and Chaney, I miss you guys and will be home before you can blink. I think about you nightly. And if you don’t know what song that is from, just ask Chaney. I guarantee she knows. To all my family, my dad and sister and nephew, I’m doing great. To all my co-workers (my second family), I miss you guys dearly. I know it’s way too quiet around there. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon, and it will be much more noisy. To all the parents, your babies are doing great. You’d be proud of them, but don’t tell them I told you that. I’m trying to maintain some cred with them. I’ll try to get more on here next time. If you need me, please email me. I can check it once or twice a day.

ericpetty13@me.com

We're In Hungary (Day . . . Monday)

We wrapped up our first day of camp this afternoon. It was fairly chaotic, for me at least. I wasn't sure what to expect or how I was going to do teaching a bible class with a translator. The stuff we were trying to get through was pretty hard to explain to American kids, so I don't know how it went with the Hungarians. I'll look over my notes this evening and try to make the proper adjustments. I will say that today could have been worse. I was struggling during part of it, but it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be.

Everyone seemed to flow right into the groove today. It was a good first day. The kids were pretty energetic and everyone who is helping with the camp really knows what they are doing and loves these kids. There are a lot of good kids here. I got the chance to speak to one after the boys' class today, and it was good. He spoke pretty good English, and that was good. But he also had real questions we got to discuss. So I felt like something good happened today and God is busy working on the hearts of these young people. I feel like this is where we are supposed to be.

The food has been excellent. I don't know what I had for lunch yesterday, but it tasted good. And the desserts are uh-mazing. And they have Coke Zero, which isn't quite Diet Dr Pepper, but it'll definitely suffice. We got to watch America lose in the World Cup the other night, which is not how it was supposed to turn out. We have internet, although not all the time. Oh, and I found out that I am allergic to feather pillows. Who knew? Paul and I are roommates, which means Paul gets the joy of listening to me snore all night long. And I haven't had any trouble sleeping since we've been here. I'm looking forward to the next few days of classes, but I'm really looking forward to visiting Budapest. I mean, that sounds like a cool place to visit and maybe pick up some surprises for the girls. If they have a Woody doll, that is.

Well, there are others waiting to use the internet, so I had better cut this short. I am kind of out of things to say anyway. I will have more tomorrow. Right now we are getting ready to have a team meeting. I will try to blog tomorrow as well and keep everyone up to date on what's going on. Everyone is doing great, parents. I'm keeping an eye on everyone. Please keep praying. There is good work going on here.

Uplift - Day 4

It was a long day. I should be sleeping right now, but tomorrow is the last day Matt and I are doing the Zoo, so we're up trying to make sure everything goes well. It's been a great week. I can't believe tomorrow is the last day. It's going to be great. We had a good night last night. Josh Ross spoke to us and did an outstanding job. We had some really tough conversations during our group devotional time, but some conversations that needed to happen. Our group is growing closer all the time, and we have really soaked up everything that's gone on around us. It's nice to see our kids rally around each other. Amazing.

Today was a good day. Hayden Woods and Daniel Casella did an awesome job during Talent Show tryouts. And of course, Bammel was there to support them. We had a good night with Brian Mashburn speaking to us, and we had two of our own come forward seeking prayers -- Chance Hughes and Hayden McHan. Our kids rallied around them as well. Once again, these kids really understand how God wanted us to encourage each other.

We haven't had a lot of down time. Everybody's been staying pretty busy. I got a little carried away during Zoo this morning and jumped around a little on stage. Not smart. I'm not going to do that again. I will say that I'm not going to complain about my back hurting anymore. I met a girl today from another youth group that is here in a neck brace. She was in a car wreck a few weeks ago, and nothing could stop her from being here. So I'm done complaining. I feel great, and I wouldn't miss being here for the world. We've all been blessed.

I can't say enough about our sponsors, as well. Melanie, Kim, Ashley, Luke and Audrey are doing great work being there in a big way for our kids. We couldn't do stuff like this without them. Well, I am going to move off to nighty night land. Last day tomorrow. We'll see you then.

Uplift - Day 3 so far

It's rec time at Uplift, which means I get to go sit and watch our kids play some sports. It's a good part of the day to just hang out with no worries and let the kids do their thing. Last night was amazing. I fully intended to post last night, but it was very late by the time everything was over and I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Sorry about that. But it was an amazing night. The message we got from Don McLaughin was incredible. He brought Luke 15 alive and connected on so many levels. So many kids came forward to rededicate themselves to Jesus. It's an experience you really should live some day. Nothing like it. That's the beauty of Uplift. Our group devo time was solid. We got to talk about our day and how we can worship God through everything we do. It was good.

The kids have really been anxious to talk about the different classes and God time. They're soaking it up and embracing the spirit that's fully present here. Great atmosphere. Like I said, it's something you really should experience. It's hard to adequately describe it through blog postings. Some things are just better seeing them for yourself. I know you would be so thrilled with how our teens represent Bammel so well. It's nice to be able to say you're one of the youth ministers at Bammel. Everyone knows our kids and are impressed with how they carry themselves and model Christ for the rest of the campers here.

Last night, two of our own went forward asking for prayers. Shelby Werderich and Summer Williams were both loved on by our teens last night, praying over them and just being there for them. And I was remiss earlier by not mentioning that Shelby Tate's grandfather passed away on Saturday. You should have seen her friends rally around her. We have great kids. That's a recurring theme I hope you never get tired of hearing. Taylor and Madison Flowers joined us on Sunday, so the whole gang is here now. I'm enjoying getting to know the group's friends they brought along. It just feels like they're part of the group.

On a personal note, Zoo went much better this morning. No technical difficulties to speak of. We had our slang spelling bee, which is always a hit with the teens. And it makes me laugh a lot, so that makes it even better. It's been nice not having to teach a class today and spend time with every age group at lunch. One of the coolest thing about being involved so heavily in the production here is that you get to meet so many kids from all over. They feel like they can talk to you. I've gotten to talk to a bunch of kids from all over and hear their stories as well. It's nice to hear how much getting on stage and acting like an idiot (like Matt and I do every morning) means so much to them. I'm still not quite sure why, but it's kinda cool.

Everyone seems to be doing really well. I'm looking forward to what is in store tonight. I think it's Don speaking to us again. Then we have Josh Ross and Brian Mashburn to close us out this week. And then, as much as it pains me, Uplift will be over. But know that good things are happening here. God is working in our teens' lives in a profound way. It's good to be here. Well, it's rec time. I'll try to post another entry tonight, if I can keep my eyes open.

Uplift - Day 2 (Part 1)

It's 4:30 and the kids are done with rec time. Now they're in their dorms getting ready to meet for dinner in an hour. Taylor Flowers joined us today without incident. Mad props to Kim and Melanie for picking him up at the airport today. I just finished watching some of our kids play volleyball and pretty much run the show, which makes my head swell a little, being their youth minister and all.

Before I go any further, let me just say that this is already shaping up to be a life-changing week. Everyone who is here is supposed to be here. I'm firmly convinced that this group is transforming right before our eyes into what God wants his people to be. And our chaperons on this trip, while few, are exactly where God needs them to be. I don't know how we could make this week work without Kim, Melanie, Audrey, Luke and Ashley. Tomorrow will be great, because Matt and I will actually get to spend time with our kids after Zoo. We are only teaching two days this year. So we don't teach again until Wednesday. That's going to be amazing. I've never gotten to go to classes and spend time with my youth group, because I've always had to do board stuff or teach or something. This is going to be cool.

Now, let's see . . . where was I? Oh yes, the morning didn't start off so well. The A/V for our videos did not go very well this morning. Nothing went very well this morning. And we've kind of got three more days of videos we have planned, so I hope they get this corrected quickly. Either way, we'll make it work. We had several kids today ask us not to quit doing Zoo. I don't know how to answer these things. I am such a pushover. Our kids were very supportive of our morning and encouraged us. Then we had some of them in class first thing, and that's always fun to get to teach your kids in a different environment. Another of my great joys is getting to come here with our kids and seeing what kind of leaders they are. There are a lot of great youth groups here, but I would put our kids right up there with anyone. They really lead by example. It's a nice thing for Bammel to have the reputation it does. I'm proud of our kids. You should be too.

We had classes all day. Groups took Communion together. It was cool the way they did it, a little bit differently than in the past. Tonight, we are having an illusionist come for our nightly entertainment. I love magicians. Love magicians. Yes, I know it's slight of hand and there is no such thing as "magic." And no, I do not want to know how you did that. I am super pumped about this. I heard he's really good. I am going to get all hyphy and stuff. That's slang for crunk, which is slang for jazzed, which is slang for pumped. And I'm sure that's slang for something. Why can't I think of a word for how excited I am? Oh . . . excited . . . that's a good word.

We also have our first group devo tonight. Looking forward to that. Just worshiping with our kids and hearing about their day. It's going to be a good time of reflection. We have a lot of kids here who haven't been before, and that's exciting. I'm looking forward to hearing about how the day was for them and what they gathered from our classes and such. Always fun. Wish you guys who aren't here could be a fly on the wall this evening. Please keep praying that God is moving in us this week. Please pray for continued safety for everyone here. And let me know if you have any questions or need anything.

Uplift - Day One (Part 2)

Well, it's about 10:30. Matt and I are going over what we're going to be doing tomorrow for Zoo and our class we're teaching. The kids have finished watching the concert and are on their way to the dorm. The one thing that is kind of a bummer where Uplift is concerned is the amount of time that our work here keep us away from our own youth group. Doing Zoo has been a blast, but we're going out in style. And we're off two days this week from teaching, because they're going with a different format. So that means more time for us to spend with our kids. And the best news is that we're starting later. Zoo is on at 9:00 this year instead of 8:00. So we're pretty pumped about the extra sleep.

We had some down time today, which was pretty good. The kids are going to need it. I can already tell this is going to be a great week. The energy was high tonight. The drama was excellent. Can't wait to see where they go with it. Brandon did a good job preparing us for the week's theme. And it's always amazing to sit in a room worshiping with 1000 teens. This is going to be a good year.

We had a good lunch today, but we're ready to get everything rolling tomorrow with a full day for the kids. We identified those folks who hadn't been here before, just to challenge the ones that have to keep an eye out and help out where needed. We're going to make sure everyone gets the most they can out of Uplift 2010. I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

Uplift - Day 1

Well, I guess technically Uplift hasn't started yet. We got here last night right about 6:30, which was just over 10 hours. Not bad for a 4 vehicle convoy. But we had no troubles of any kind. No wrong turns, no missed exits. Perfect weather. No back pain. God really blessed us with great travel. We have a great, and I mean great group of kids on this trip. We had a lot of kids bring friends this year, and I've already met most of them, I think. Very impressive. It's always a good thing to get friends going on this trip, which is probably the trip the kids look most forward to. We made our annual trip to Charley's Pizza last night, and they gave us a really good deal on the Xtra large pizzas, so everyone got their fill. Everyone is following directions beautifully. We are very blessed to be here. Makes it easy when you have such a good group of kids.

We are all going to eat lunch today at various places. And then we'll probably run by Wal Mart and get some snacks or stuff they may have forgotten to pack. Then we'll chill and play some games or something until we get registered at get dinner tonight and the Uplift ball gets rolling. Very exciting trip so far, and it's just underway. I'll have more to post later tonight.

In time it could have been so much more

I have really been reminiscing a lot lately. Today, I saw a soap that my dad used to use to clean his hands. He was a plumber, and they got pretty dirty. And this soap came in this tub. It was called GoJo. Ever heard of it? Well, anyway, I saw this and it took me back to when I was a kid and went to work with my dad. And I remember using this soap. And that brought about a whole range of memories. I find myself thinking about my childhood fondly, and more and more often. And when I do, there is some kind of aching involved. I used to think that I was aching because I missed my childhood, that on some level I resented my life currently and the fact that I was getting older. But I realize now that's not the case. I don't pine away over my youth because I wonder where it went and I'm aching to have it back, I just can't believe that it seems like it just happened. I can't keep time in perspective. I know what people mean when they tell me to enjoy my children because they will be gone before you know it. But the fact is that I do treasure our time together. I believe we make time to spend together, and I cherish every second. That doesn't change the fact that time moves too quickly. In the end, it doesn't matter how much time you spend, it's gone before you know it.

Time moves too fast. It wouldn't bother me so much if it would just slow down, just for a little while.

It Pays To Speak Your Mind

This is an actual email I sent to the Cap'n Crunch division of Quaker Foods.

Cap'n Crunch is the greatest cereal of all time. When I die, I want to be buried in a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Coincidentally, I enjoy spending some of the time that I am alive also buried in a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. I've loved your cereal since I was a kid. The only way I thought it could be better is if it were chocolate. And BAM! there it was. And then you took it away. I need it back. Why is it every time I love something it gets taken away? Well, not this time. I plan on writing you at least once a week until you give me my cereal back, or at least put me in touch with some shady character I can get to fleece me some off the black market. I'm jonesing over here! C'mon, Man! Bring back the Choco Crunch! At least tell me why you sold me out!

And this is the response.

Eric:

Thank you for letting us know how important Cap'n Crunch's Choco Crunch has been to you. Your feedback is vitally important to us.

We introduced this product as a limited time offer. As you can see by the many different Cap'n Crunch products we come out with, we try to provide interesting new types of cereals for our consumers to enjoy. Sadly, most stores have limited shelf space, so we sometimes offer products for a limited time to give consumers a chance to try more new products.

That said, we do understand how important this product is to you. I will certainly let our marketing teams know you want this product to be a regular offering. We're grateful for your suggestion, as your feedback helps us determine future products to offer.

I did a search for this product online, and found it available on www.amazon.com. The price might be a little daunting, but since you're obviously so devoted, thought it only appropriate to mention it to you.

Now before you send us another email next week, please understand that I have done my best to convey how much you enjoy this product to our marketing teams. While emailing us a few more times might seem like an effective way to bring the product back, it doesn't provide our marketing team with more data we can use to make such a decision.

Since you're such a fan of Cap'n Crunch, I do want to send you a small gift for your loyalty. Look for it to arrive in your mailbox in about a week.

We value you as a consumer, Eric. It's obvious that you're passionate about Cap'n Crunch, and we hope that you'll find that you enjoy the products we come out with in the future just as much as you enjoyed Cap'n Crunch's Choco Crunch.

Dan
Quaker Consumer Relations
Ref# 027198291A

This may be the greatest email I've ever received. We all had a good laugh, and I get something free. See, it pays to be passionate. It's obvious Cap'n Crunch loves their customers, which means they just made a friend. Now, Ima see how much more free stuff I can get.

ACL Wishlist

OK, the lineup for one of the best North American music festivals (and the one I will be attending this year) is coming out Tuesday. I went to Austin City Limits back in 2008, but was on vacation last year, so I didn't get to go (I did, however, get to see The Killers in Miami . . . so, you know). In light of the fact that the lineup comes out soon, I am going to list some bands that I would like to see there this October. Some of them won't happen, but I think some of them will. For example, Muse is already supposedly signed on to close it out Sunday night (October 10). I'm going to reminisce about 2008, though, before I move on to 2010.

First of all, let me say that there is nothing like a live show. And if you can't put on a good show, I am going to stop buying your records, because I just lost all respect for you. Conversely, if you put on a good show and I don't know you, I may buy your records just because you put on such a good show, even though I don't really care that much for your music (i.e., Gogol Bordello). With that in mind, let me go over the highlights and lowlights for me at ACL 2008.

1. The Raconteurs
HIGHLIGHT: Finally seeing Jack White. And I do like The Raconteurs as his best project. I hope he's working on something with them, because this whole Dead Weather thing is not my favorite. Not bad, but I sure do like The Raconteurs.
LOWLIGHT: They didn't sing "Salute Your Solution" due to Jack having a bulging disc. I held a pretty tough grudge against him for that, until I just spent a month in bed due to a bulging disc in my back. All is forgiven.

2. Foo Fighters
HIGHLIGHT: Uh . . . it's Dave Grohl. And Foo Fighters are amazing live.
LOWLIGHT: N/A

3. David Byrne
HIGHLIGHT: I love Talking Heads. I love David Byrne. I have been a fan for a long time, since I was about 12? Really? He's been around that long? He did "Once in a Lifetime" and "Life During Wartime." Is there a lowlight? I submit that there is not.
LOWLIGHT: I didn't get to meet him.

4. Vampire Weekend
HIGHLIGHT: I had never listened to them before I saw them in concert. They sound really good and are a lot of fun.
LOWLIGHT: Pretty sure Ezra Koenig wasn't saying "Do you want some fudge?"

5. Gogol Bordello
HIGHLIGHT: Their live show is full of so much energy. I would recommend seeing them at some point, even if you don't like their music.
LOWLIGHT: I'm not a fan of their music.

Other highlights: Beck was a pleasant surprise, as was What Made Milwaukee Famous. Mars Volta, The Black Keys and MGMT were just aiight for me personally, but I'm glad I saw them. John Fogerty was ok. Against Me! was good, but I had to leave early to get up close for The Raconteurs at another stage. Getting to rest and watch football in the big tent was a plus as well.

Other lowlights: Bands I now love that I didn't see include: Silversun Pickups, Yeasayer, Hot Chip and The Fratellis. And I wish I hadn't seen Plant and Krause. Ugh. They were terrible. Sorry, but it's a fact. I wish I had seen Gnarls Barkley, but I had a choice to make, and I chose Jack White.

This year, I won't make the same mistake. I am going to go see as many bands as I can. I am much more open-minded now than I was then. Here's who I want to see at ACL this year. Some of them will happen, some probably won't. But if I could pick the bands I want to see, these would be the ones. By the way, I've bolded the ones that I think will actually happen, either because they are already confirmed, rumored or have a new CD coming out in 2010.

Muse
Temper Trap
Ra Ra Riot
Cold War Kids
Hockey
Phoenix
Passion Pit
Wolf Parade
Silversun Pickups
Hot Chip
The Fratellis
The Morning Benders
Elvis Costello
Spoon
Vampire Weekend
The xx
The Hold Steady
Grizzly Bear
Yeasayer
The Kooks
The Pixies (or some form of Frank Black)
Matthew Sweet and Susannah Hoffs (you have to watch this and read the highest rated comment below. Classic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRO5ZZuJGYI)
The Thermals
Green Day
The Arcade Fire
Broken Bells
The "She" in She & Him
REM (They have a new CD supposedly out in November. But will they commit this early? They do love Austin. I'm crossing my fingers. Please, ACL people. Make this happen.)

So who am I forgetting that you would like to see if you were going to ACL? What bands would you invite if you were running a music festival?

Working For The Weekend

Well, it's going on four weeks that I have been down with this back condition. In that time, I've seen an orthopedist and two chiropractors as well as receiving a lot of pity. I have been able to go back to church. I still can't sit comfortably though. In fact, it's a little worse today than yesterday. But this new chiro told me it would be probably. I've had some pain shooting down into my leg today that I haven't had this week. I'm hoping this is all part of the process of having me back in the driver's seat (literally) this weekend. I still can't go back to work, and that stinks to high heaven. I am able to walk a lot now, but I still can't even ride in a car comfortably. I hate this. But I'm trying to keep a positive outlook. I'm just ready for everything to start working again. Especially me.

In the meantime, I have been enjoying Blockbuster Online. We have been wearing it out. And I've gotten a chance to listen to some bands that are new to me. Of course, I missed the Phoenix concert. But at least Payton used the tickets and got me a T-shirt. I don't know how many of these bands are new, but they're new to me, and I like them a lot. If you get a chance to check them out, do so, if you haven't already.

The Temper Trap - I think they're on the verge of breaking out. Dude has an amazing voice.
Wolf Parade - Like their sound a lot. They've been around for a while. I'm just now getting on board.
Hockey - They haven't been out a while. But they have a lot of energy in their songs and seem very fun. I hope they come to ACL.
The Kooks - Yep, they sound like The Kinks. But that's actually a good thing.
Broken Bells - It's the lead singer of The Shins and somebody I don't know. Like it though. I hope this doesn't mean The Shins are over. Speaking of a band being over, Brandon Flowers of The Killers is releasing a solo CD soon. Yep, they're done.
The Morning Benders - They have a new one out. Listen to the song "Excuses" and try not to sing it all day. Can't be done.
But the best band I've heard recently is Cold War Kids. They've been around a few years. They have a couple CDs I'm going to have to listen to. But if you've never listened to them, I would suggest getting their EP they put out late last year. Listen to the song "Audience." Or better yet, just click the link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O9rBQz5UAQ&feature=related) and watch them sing it live. Love dude's voice. I think they're gonna be big too. Heck, they may already be. I'm always the last to know.

And I've been watching movies, as I said. Lots and lots of movies. Let's take a look, shall we?

Fantastic Mr. Fox - Best movie I've seen in 2010. I watched last month and still have it. Thank goodness I don't have late fees. I like it because it's clever without being offensive. It's one of Chaney's favorite movies as well. She likes Ash, because he has a tube sock on his head. I like him because he thinks he's an athlete.
Dark Water - I just watched this last night. I love Jennifer Connelly. She's great, but I always forget about her when I think of my favorite actresses. She's definitely number 6 though. This movie was just aiight. I don't want to say it's predictable, but I figured it out after ten minutes. The ending has a bit of a twist though. It's worth watching. Jennifer Connelly is great.
Ocean's 11 - I love all the actors in this movie. It was good. Fun. Not great. I liked it. I would recommend it. I just wouldn't make it sound like it's the greatest movie ever made.
The House of Yes - I love Parker Posey. I wish she hadn't done this movie. Not good. But Parker Posey was great as always.
Extract - I like Mike Judge alright. This is nowhere near as funny as Office Space, but it's still pretty good. I like Jason Bateman. And I have to admit that Ben Affleck made me laugh in this movie. But it's a pretty good story. Not many laugh out loud moments, but worth a peek if you're in bed for a month.
Henry Poole Is Here - Loved it. Cheryl Hines is in it too. I wish she was in more. She's the only redeeming factor in that stupid Robin Williams movie I can't remember the name of (and the only reason I watched it). It gets a little cheesy perhaps. But it's well done, and the cast is really good.

I know there are more. I just can't think of them. But I do have quite a few coming - Safe Men, Sherlock Holmes, Ocean's 12 & 13, Caddyshack, Memento, The Fourth Kind, a host of scary movies and then I'm going on a Wes Anderson fest. Why not? I'll give him another chance. He aced Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Meanwhile, it doesn't look like I'll be catching Iron Man 2 this weekend. I just hope I'm driving. Now that I think of it, this might be a good time to start watching Lost. I have some time.

Is there a DRAFT in here?

OK, so you know I'm in bed all day while I'm waiting for my back to heal. Quick update: It's not healed. I go back to the chiro this Tuesday and we'll see how we're going to approach my treatment. I think I will be back up and running to some degree this time next week. I'm hoping to get to go back to work on a limited basis Wednesday. I can't stand being laid up like this. The only time I've been outside in ten days is to go to the doctor. I'm staying optimistic. I'm just getting impatient.

So I don't have much to do besides sit here and cruise Facebook and Twitter. And, of course, I am anxiously awaiting the NFL Draft beginning Thursday. I have poured over my notes and who I want the Dolphins to take. I've also decided what I think about the different players who are going to be drafted. I have some opinions about some guys, especially the QBs. And I'll give you a list of who I want the Dolphins to take and why. So now is your chance to turn away, because this is going to be boring if you don't care about football. By the way, I'm gonna throw this in. I got to watch Ty Lawson play in his first NBA playoff game last night. He got to play a lot, because Chauncey Billups was in foul trouble most of the night. Everybody kept going on and on about how surprising it was he was playing so well. I'm sorry. You know who wasn't surprised? Me. Apparently, no one saw him play three years at UNC. Yeah, he's really close to being my favorite Tar Heel. He and Donald Williams are neck and neck. And if Lawson tweets me back, he'll move up to number one. OK, back to the NFL draft.

Looks like Sam Bradford is going to be the number one overall pick. I guess that's OK. I've come around on Bradford. I think he's gonna be alright. I don't think he's going to be Peyton Manning. But I don't think he's gonna be Ryan Leaf either. I can see him having a pretty solid career. I just don't see him being spectacular. I'm not even sure he's as good as Matthew Stafford. But that's just me. I will say this, I don't think he's the best QB in this draft. While we're on QBs, let me give you the lowdown on what I think about all of the ones I can think of right now.

Sam Bradford - OK. Not spectacular. Effective in the right system with the right coaching. He's pretty smart, so I think he has that going for him.
Jimmy Clausen - I'm sorry, but someone tell me when he became a top ten pick. I don't know what everyone is looking at. He's got bust written all over him. I feel like I'm missing something. But no, it's everyone else missing something. And that something is that Clausen is a terrible QB.
Colt McCoy - I think he's going to be the best QB in this class. I only hope he does not end up in Pittsburgh, which I am afraid is going to happen. If he does, it will be hard to hate the Steelers. No one is going to outwork him. And he has the fire and intangibles. I wish the Dolphins were looking for a QB. Hey, we may be if Henne doesn't stop throwing picks. LOL.
Tim Tebow - Man, I really wish I had a better feeling about how Tebow is going to translate to the NFL. On the one hand, I would love to have him on my team. But I don't see him becoming an effective NFL QB. I just don't see him translating well to the pro game. My luck will be that the Pats get him and make him a pro bowler. He's a great person and no one competes like he does. But the same could be said when I was coming out of high school and I didn't make the NBA. So . . . sometimes you just don't translate to the next level. I hope I'm wrong. I hope he has a long career, if for no other reason so that we can talk about something besides guys getting arrested. I like Tebow. I think he's a great person and athlete. But I just don't think he can play QB in the NFL. I hope he proves everyone wrong, especially if he's a Dolphin.

I don't care about any other QBs. For the record, I think Dez Bryant is going to be a beast. I also like CJ Spiller, Sean Weatherspoon, Dan Williams, Sergio Kindle, Rolando McClain, Eric Berry and Taylor Mays. So now, I'm going to talk about what I think the Dolphins should do at number 12. Keep in mind this is my third draft with the Trifecta (Parcells, Ireland and Sparano), and they don't always listen to me. Of course, Wanny never listened to me (remember Drew Brees in 2001?). And I can't even begin to imagine what Sea Bass was thinking (Ted Ginn? Really?).

So far, I think the Trifecta has done pretty well. They probably blew it by selecting Pat White in the second round last year, but they still got Vontae Davis and Sean Smith (two solid CBs) and they got Jake Long (pro bowl LT) and Chad Henne (our starting QB) the year before. Plus, they signed Davone Bess as a free agent, and he's turned into a pretty productive slot receiver. And I think Brian Hartline is going to be a solid starter opposite Brandon Marshall this season. Wait, let me read that sentence again. (Pause. Smile.) OK, I'm back. I just wanted to remind myself the Fins have one of the three best WRs in the game this year. Chad Henne's stock just went way up. Look how good Marshall made Orton look in Denver. And don't forget that this group couldn't sign ILB Karlos Dansby fast enough. He's going to add a lot to the defense.

So let's look at what the Dolphins need. Well, we need a pass rusher at OLB. We need a nose tackle. We need a free safety. I think those are our three biggest needs. We probably need some depth on the O-line, but we can take care of that in the later rounds. That being said, I think our first pick should be (drum roll) . . . CJ Spiller, running back, Clemson University.

Yep, I went there. I know what you're thinking, "Why would Miami need to select a RB? They have Ronnie and Ricky and Patrick Cobb is coming back." And you'd be right to suggest that. But we just lost Ted Ginn, and, although he was atrocious as a WR, he was an amazing KR. So Spiller could do that for us. Plus, he's a great pass catcher out of the backfield. Plus, he's a threat to score every time he touches the ball. He's incredibly fast. He's a little bigger than Brian Westbrook, and will probably put on a little weight. He's around 200 pounds right now. I'd like to see him get up to 215 or 220 without losing speed. He could be the next Marshall Faulk. I know that's high praise, but I like him a lot. And I'd love to have him. I think he makes us a more dangerous team on offense, almost scary even. And I think we have to have a scarier offense. We just don't have a lot of playmakers. And besides, Ronnie's contract runs out after this season. Ricky's does too. And Ronnie is already being dangled as trade bait. I love me some Ronnie and Ricky, but they're not getting any younger. And Spiller is dangerous.

But they won't take Spiller. And I hope they take Sergio Kindle if they go defense. We can get a NT and FS later in the draft. We have one shot at Sergio Kindle if we want to get an OLB who is athletic enough to do a lot of things. I like him. He makes plays and plays with the motor always on full blast. They can get Robert Johnson at safety in the third round and then get that kid from GA at nose tackle in the fourth or fifth. What's that dude's name? Jeff Owens? They said he threw up 225 pounds 35 times at the Combine. Yeah, that's what I said. I like that kid already. He'll be a Dolphin.

Spiller probably won't be there at 12 anyway. And the Dolphins may even trade down if they get someone willing to move up. If they do, I hope they get Kindle. I think by the time they pick Spiller, McClain and Berry will all be gone. But Kindle may be there, even if they decide to trade down. So that seems like a good fit for them. I hope that is where we go. Put him on the opposite side of Cam Wake and I feel sorry for QBs already . . . well, not Mark Sanchez.

Forgetting Brandon Marshall

Oh my. Where do I even start? I woke up this morning at 4:29 and knew it was going to be a good day. I fell asleep before Stacy did last night, partly because that Vicodin kicked in at the right time. My back is still bugging me big time, but I'm going to see a specialist tomorrow, so there is good news ahead, I'm sure.

Anyway, I just knew something about today was going to be good. Jonathan and Matt brought me lunch and that was good, even though I have to eat lying down, and it's hard to eat Gringo's that way. But that's not the best part of the day. It was good, just not as good as the best receiver in the NFL coming to your team in a much-needed trade.

And yeah, I just said Brandon Marshall is the best receiver in the NFL. Fitzgerald? Ok, I can buy that one too. Moss? Please. Has he ever crossed the middle of the field? He's certainly better than Brickhands Edwards and/or Santonio Holmes. I have not so secretly lusted after Marshall for quite some time. First of all, he's been a Bronco. That means I've gotten to see him a lot, because I am a good friend and support my friends' teams. And I secretly desire to have their players. Ok, not all of them. Just one. But if you saw that catch Marshall made against the Giants . . . and if you saw it I don't have to explain further, you know how awesome he is. I said after seeing that catch, "See, that's what we don't have. I want one of those. Just one." And now, we not only have one, we have THE one.

So to sum up quickly, I hate that the Broncos lost Marshall for Matt's sake. And for Dustin's sake. And Payton's. And the whole Mulder family's sake. But the first time he burns a DB for a 60 yard TD catch and run, I'll probably get over it. Are we going to be a better team? Hecks yes. How could we not be? Let's not start talking playoffs just yet though. Let's see how the draft goes. What do I think we need to get out of the draft? I'll let you know tomorrow, while I'm lying around doing a whole lot of nothing.

All Fired Up

Well, I am lying here listening to Pat Benatar. Hence, the blog title. And, the irony of that title is that my back is inflamed. So you can see the hilarity there, huh? Neither can I.

Here's what we do know. My lower back is having problems. There is an inflammation from a pinched nerve or herniated disc. My doctor can't tell because of the swelling. So they have to get rid of the inflammation. In the meantime, it's shooting pain down my leg and making me very weak. Friday night I had to crawl up the stairs to get in bed. And once I got there, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. I've had back problems for a few years, but nothing like this. I mean, I can't tell you the pain I was feeling Friday night. And I've had two kidney stones. I was honestly praying for a kidney stone the other night. So anyway, I made it to bed, and pretty much haven't gotten out of it until going to the doctor yesterday. And now, it looks like I could be down a while. He gave me some steroids to reduce the inflammation and some Vicodin for the pain. So I should be able to hit for power now and not feel a thing in the morning.

But seriously, this is something I guess I'm going to have to deal with. It's not the worst thing in the world, but for those who know me well, know that I pride myself on being the poster boy for not being sick. I was bragging a few months ago how I had gone over 400 days without a sick day. And then the next week I got a stomach bug. But anyway. I hate feeling fragile. And I'm turning 40 this year, and this is not the way I wanted to remind myself daily of that fact. But hey, everyone lives with something. I just wish I knew when this was going to be better. The doctor didn't give me a time frame, but there sure are a lot of pills to take. I'm pushing for Friday, but that's not looking really good right now. It feels no better than yesterday. I need to go on that retreat this weekend.

But the good news is that I can get up and down the stairs at least once a day. Of course, I probably shouldn't. I'm sure that doesn't help. But I am so tired of lying here. I am glad we got Blockbuster online to help me through it. So far, I've seen Where The Wild Things Are (kind of), The Men Who Stare At Goats, Fantastic Mr. Fox (again), and I'm about to watch Henry Poole is Here. I'm getting quite good at Flight of the Hamsters, also. I got a combined 994 feet the other day. Not too shabby, especially since I am out of practice. I am also catching up on some personal reading. For some reason, I have been reading 1st and 2nd Chronicles a lot. I don't know why. Just fascinating to read how stupid some of God's most trusted people were. Makes me forget how stupid Ben Roethlisberger is.

And, of course, this is giving me a chance to blog. I have a lot of things I'm thinking about lately. This whole Big Ben thing has me not believing anything anyone says, and that where there's smoke, there is usually fire. You could see on the prosecutor's face yesterday that he knew Ben got off lucky. He wanted to charge him so badly, but had nothing, especially since the security video conveniently got recorded over. He'd better be suspended. If not, I'm going to play the race card on Roger Goodell.

Ok, I guess I'm going to update the website now. Or something. I have to reformat it for the fall. I'm open to theme ideas. I usually base it on whatever I'm listening to at the moment. Our last format was inspired by the song "Spaceman" by The Killers. And I'm really into Muse right now. So maybe we go with a "Starlight" theme? But I'm also listening a lot to Hockey, The Temper Trap and Silversun Pickups. We will see. Got any thoughts?

UNC/Dook quick hits

Ok, tonight is UNC/Dook at Cameron Indoor Stadium. Here are some quick thoughts about the best rivalry in college hoops.

1. Dook is 20 points better than UNC this year on paper. We are loaded with freshmen who play like freshmen and upper classmen who play like . . . freshmen. We could set a record for turnovers tonight.
2. If Coach K can run it up, he will. He's not going to back off. He is a worm, and he's been owned by Roy lately. Make no mistake, Roy and Rat Face don't like each other. Mikey had it too good for too long. Then Roy came to town and has cut the nets down twice since Mikey has been to a final four. Mikey has even resorted to tell Roy how to coach his team and never did apologize for Gerald Henderson breaking Hansbrough's nose a couple years ago. Of course, UNC just kept its cool and kept winning. They're probably not going to win this game, so I hope they keep their cool.
3. This is a tough game for me, because I can't think of a Dook team I hate less than this one. They're not a bunch of punks. I don't think they're the number four team in the nation, but they're not a bunch of punks. They're aiight. But they are Dook, and I still want to win.
4. Remember what I said about Mikey? He has extra incentive to blow Roy out tonight, because Roy just stole the number one 2010 recruit in the nation out from under him at the last minute. Of course, Coach K has had a harder time recruiting in the last few years. That has something to do with Roy and something also to do with the fact that your greatest player of all time is Christian Laettner. Advantage: Tar Heels.
5. All I want is for them not to be wide-eyed. Go in with a little arrogance and play like you expect to win. I need to see Leslie McDonald stick some big shots. I need to see Will Graves vocally lead this team. I need to see Larry Drew play within himself and Deon Thompson to get his head out of his rear. Dexter Strickland needs to show me he's going to be the man who deserves to wear that number 5. And John Henson needs to play tall and block shots down low. The main thing is, just play like you expect to win.

All I know is that I'm Tivoing it so that I can fast forward through the rough parts. You know, like the first 37 minutes?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This is such a great time of the year for sports. Usually about this time, I am getting geared up for the men's NCAA basketball tourney. But since UNC is 16-14 currently, I'm not too excited. I'm hoping they at least win a game or two in the ACC tournament and get to go to the NIT. They play Dook tomorrow, so I think they'll finish the season 16-15. Maybe they'll make the NIT. I just want to see them get some experience. But don't fret. This time next year, we'll be talking about getting a number one seed in the Big Dance. And of course, we all know who cut the nets down last year.

But NFL free agency just started and it's off and running pretty well. The Dolphins are going to sign a safety and release an overpaid one. Gibril Wilson, one of the worst tacklers at safety I've ever seen, is out of here. Antrell Rolle, former Cards safety, will be in before the day is over. So I'm guessing we're not taking Taylor Mays in the draft. I also know Karlos Dansby is in Miami today, and we really need help at linebacker. Joey Porter is going to be released in a few days, and we need help on the outside. But we also have to get an inside linebacker or three. We'll see what happens with Dansby. My gut is he's too pricey. Of course, the Jets already made a big move by getting a former pro bowl CB from San Diego for a third round pick IN NEXT YEAR'S DRAFT! I swear there are teams in collusion with NY and NE. The Pats get Randy Moss with a fourth rounder a few years ago, and this happens with the Jets this year. I'm waiting to see what Miami offers the Cards for Anquan Boldin.

Here are my predictions of players who will be cut and/or signed, as I've stated all along. Gibril Wilson, Joey Porter, Ted Ginn and Channing Crowder should be cut immediately. The Fins should sign Rolle before the day is over. He came out and said Miami is his first choice! He grew up in Miami/Dade county! He went to Da U! How many more exclamation points do I have to use to get across the message?! Sign him!

I'd also like to get Dansby, but I don't blame them if they don't give him $30. I'm not sure he's worth that, and I think the linebackers in this draft are pretty good. I'm just wondering if we're looking to the draft to find a playmaker. I am almost sold on the notion that they're going with Dez Bryant with the number one pick. I could be all wrong, but I believe that's where they are going. At least it will tell you something by the way they handle Boldin and the rest of free agency.

This is like Christmas time for me. I hope I'm on the "nice" list.

It's The Ministry Fair

We had a "ministry fair" at the Teen Center last night. I thought it went pretty well. We had about 100 people move through there. We had local outreach and service organizations come and set up a booth and let people walk through, chat, ask questions and pick up some literature. The goal was to spotlight the people doing work right here in our own back yard, and maybe get some people at our church plugged in locally. I'd love to see whole families get involved with one of these groups. I think it can be a huge thing for a family to work together to serve others. And instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, we wanted to talk to the people who have a good grasp on the people of our community that they work with. For example, it would be ridiculous for us to try to start our own home-building group. But we can partner with Habitat. That's why they're here.

We had 8 local organizations come in. But the best part of the night for me was the 2 student-led ministries we had represented. Christi Stewart, who constantly amazes me with her willingness and desire to serve, has started a blanket ministry for street church. She makes blankets. You buy one. And someone in need gets a blanket. Kind of like the Tom's shoes thing, except right here in our own back yard. Christi Stewart. Remember the name, folks. It won't be the last time you hear it. And one of her classmates, Molly Sayers, has a ministry where she gives underprivileged girls a room makeover. Wow! Did you read that? Am I the only one who thinks this is amazing? They didn't wait for permission or assistance. They asked themselves how they could help people and went for it. And they are receiving incredible support from their families. It's just a beautiful thing. These are the kinds of hearts Jesus needs in his kingdom.

I think we had a pretty good night overall. It wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be, but it happened. People learned some things they probably didn't know. They got a chance to receive some free information and get involved with an area of service. And that was the whole goal going in. I hope the representatives were pleased. I think it was worth their time. I'm already hoping to do another one. I think stuff like this gets a congregation's juices flowing. We have such a tendency to focus on the 10% that's not going right, we miss the 90% that is. This night was everything that's right for Jesus people. I know I feel a little more hopeful and a lot less alone in this battle.

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods y'all!

Ok, I'll cut to the chase. Everyone who saw the Tiger Woods statement today is weighing in with their opinion, so I will too. As a leading deception expert, or at least someone who has seen every episode of "Lie To Me," I feel more than qualified to assess the statement. I fought myself to stay awake this morning just to watch it. And if any of you know how much I love to sleep all day on Fridays (my day off, by the way), you know this was a feat in and of itself. So here goes.

First of all, for those upset that he "read" his apology, which was in its essence a written statement, that means absolutely nothing. In an emotionally charged situation like this one, I actually prefer the clarity of a written statement. It doesn't mean that his words were hollow. I'll give you an example. When I left Gateway in Pensacola, it was a very emotional day for me when I gave my "farewell" speech to the congregation. So I typed it out. And I just read it. I don't even think I looked up. I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. It wasn't that I thought I was making a mistake. I love Houston. I'm happy with my decision. I was then and am know. I just knew that I was leaving a place I called home and a group of people that had been family for me. I knew I would never get out my thoughts if I didn't prepare something to say and just read it. I wanted to let everyone know that I was leaving, and I didn't want to boo hoo my way through a bunch of rambling mess. Nothing I said was untrue. I just knew I couldn't have made it through it. And I didn't want to leave anything out. So I don't have a problem at all. If you want to make your point and make it clear, you type it out and read it. And that's what Tiger did. So if you have a problem with that part of it, I think you're off base on that point.

Now comes the believability of his apology, that's a different story. To me, it's pretty simple. If you like Tiger, you probably believe him. And if you don't like Tiger, you probably think he's full of it. I don't have any feelings either way. I enjoy watching him play golf. I don't really think his personal life is any of my business. That being said, I do think he owed it to the public to make a statement. He's had a lot of time to think about what he was going to say, and it's not really my place to say whether or not he's genuinely contrite. It's only my place to forgive him, as if I owe that to him anyway, and move on. His family is affected by this, I'm not. I think a lot of athletes and celebrities cheat on their spouses. I think it's a good thing we don't know about all of them like we learned about Tiger's failings.

I do think he should fire his PR people. It's not that I don't believe him. I just think he tried too hard to make himself seem believable. The whole looking into the camera thing, well, that looked like a man who wanted you to believe him. And that makes him seem less credible. Whoever told him he needed to look into the camera should be fired. And they should also watch "Lie To Me." Of course, it may be that I should watch less of it, because I don't believe anything anyone says anymore.

So here's what I do believe. And again, this is just my take on it. It doesn't really matter what I believe, it only matters what he's able to do from this point moving forward. It only matters what God knows to be the truth, and since I'm not God, I'm not going to judge the man. However, I do believe that he's sorry for what he did. I used to think he was sorry he got caught, and that may have been the case for a while. But sometimes you have to get caught to realize what you're doing is wrong. In the long run, it could turn out to be a very good thing, if he can be a good husband and father from now on. This could turn his life around, and I hope it does. Not because he's Tiger Woods, but because he's a man who made a series of mistakes. And I'm not going to sit here and throw stones at the dude. At the end of the day, though, this apology is only worth the paper it was written on if he doesn't make strides to being a better person. He's smart enough to know that.

So whether you believe him or not, the point remains the same. It's not for us to sit in judgment of the guy. It's only up to us to give him the benefit of the doubt and put ourselves in his place. If we held ourselves to the same standard we are holding Tiger to, what would we be saying about our apology? If you had to get up in front of the media every time you did something stupid, how would you react to that? If someone uncovered all the skeletons in your closet, would you still be saying the same things about Tiger Woods? If not, then maybe we all need to examine ourselves and try a little harder to forgive and move on.

100 Miles An Hour

The busy time here at Bammel is starting. Soul Link is coming up in less than two weeks, and I'm experiencing less trepidation than last year. Of course, that is probably because we actually got a real band (Hawk Nelson) this year. I'm pretty excited. They are a fun group of guys and there should be a lot of energy. I think we're going to break some fire codes. But I also have to preach this Sunday and we're changing our Sunday morning format to a "table ministry" in three weeks, and we're having our ministry fair for local service organizations in two Wednesdays. We have only hired one intern and have no leads on a guy for the summer. And speaking of summer . . . well, it's on the radar. We also have a retreat coming up in April. And I'm supposed to go on Staycation March 14-19. No, I meant to say I am going on Staycation at that time.

So youth ministry is busier than most people give it credit for. And I am busy. And yet, I am here blogging.

Percy Harvin and the Temple of Doom

I went to a midnight movie last night. It was Percy Jackson and the Olympians in the Lightning Thief. I've called this guy everything from Peter Jackson to Action Jackson. It was aiight. It would have been better if I knew anything about it before I went. But I went with a youth deacon and his son, so at least I got to spend time with them and earned some points. JK. LOL. ROFL.

And speaking of movies, I've been on a kick lately. I have watched several movies lately, getting caught up on some of the things I've been missing. Keep in mind that it takes something special to get me out of the house. You know, like Michael Jackson and the Book of Shadows, so most of these are going to be on DVD. Here's a quick rundown of the movies I've seen most recently and my grade for each, as if anyone cares what I think.

Saw 6

It was actually aiight. I do think they're going to have to stop making these movies though. They think they're more clever than they actually are. But they just mailed it in on Saw 5. At least give me some pretentiousness or something. I think they actually thought about this one. But the first one was so good and surprising and deliciously twisted that I got sucked in right away. I don't feel like I can miss any of them now. It's like a train wreck and I can't stop looking for fear I'll miss something. Anyway, it's not great in comparison to the first one, but it's better than most "scary" movies out today.

GRADE: C

Moon

Sam Rockwell is a great actor. Don't think so? Well, toot on you. Yeah, I said it. This movie almost lost me, but it brings everything back in a pretty odd way. It has the feel of a late 70s sci-fi epic, which I liked. Kind of like 2001 or Close Encounters. The story drives the movie, which I like. It is easy to get lost looking for holes in the premise, but I just took it for what it was. It delivers, and in my opinion, it's all because of Sam Rockwell. He makes it believable. And interesting. It's worth watching if you're into a slow-paced sci-fi movie.

GRADE: B

Paranormal Activity

First of all, it's not scary. It's not remotely scary. You might say it's mildly creepy. But the creepiest part of the movie is where she's standing next to the bed looking at dude for like three hours and walks out of the room. I have been told that you have to see it in theaters. Ok, I'm going to give some credence to that. I do object, however, to the notion that in order for your movie to be scary, you have to be in a room full of people jacked up on Rock Star. If I watch a movie by myself in a dark room and I don't get scared, you need to shut your pie hole about the "scariest movie of all time" junk. Paranormal Activity was about as scary as that Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah movie. Actually, that was far creepier. And the sad part is that they didn't even try something new. They rehashed Blair Witch techniques, but tried too hard to make it believable. You're not going to film all the crap they did. Stupid. Now I'm getting angry, which is about the only emotion I had for this film outside of disgust. The "home movie" thing is played out. Blair Witch was brilliant. Cloverfield was slick. Paranormal Activity was ten years too late. And the only believable character in the movie is the psychic dude that comes to the house. It's poorly acted, and that bothers me more than the bad dialogue. I think a good actor can overcome bad dialogue. Ok, I can't find anything positive about this movie. But I still can't say I hated it. I'm actually glad I watched it, and I think everyone should watch it.

GRADE: D-

PROMOTION: A+

District 9

Didn't like it as much as I thought I would the first time. Again, it's got the Cloverfield feel to it. But this wasn't distracting, as the movie wasn't dependent on the premise. I liked it, but I wanted to love it. I like the ending, but you see it coming a mile away. But at least they didn't do something they thought was clever, but really wasn't. I hate it when people do that. (M. Night Shaymalan, are you listening?) I liked it a lot, now that I think about it. I was riveted to the screen at all times. I just saw the ending coming after about half an hour in. And that's a shame. Or maybe that's the charm of the film. It didn't try to hide the end. So I'm going to give them props for that actually. It's a fresh approach to alien movies. And it was very well acted. That main dude was brilliant. And the filmmaking itself was incredibly fresh. I also didn't think it overhyped itself. But I'm not going to give it an A+.

GRADE: A-

Zombieland

Here's a case where I had zero expectations, and thus I was pleasantly surprised. I very rarely rave over a movie, but this one was exquisite. I can't find any fault with this movie at all. It's funny. It doesn't try to outsmart itself. It's like Tarrantino and The Coen Brothers did a zombie movie. This is the most fun I've had watching a movie in a long time. Definitely my favorite of 2009. And the cameo they keep hush hush is a riot. I can't love a movie more than this one. It was a fun ride. I don't give out A+ very much.

GRADE: A+

Avatar

According to the box office numbers, everyone on the planet has already seen this movie. Twice. The cinematography is impossible to describe. It's breathtaking. The story? I'm sorry, but there's nothing original about it. And it's kinda preachy. And please tell me that ending surprised anyone. But that James Cameron knows how to make a blockbuster, doesn't he? He may be my least favorite director not named Joel Schumacher. I'd like to see what he'd do without a $300 million budget. Liked it. Didn't love it. If it wins best picture, I'm never watching the Oscars again. Oh wait. I don't watch them anyway.

GRADE: B-

The Blind Side

Sandra Bullock was good. She should definitely keep the blonde hair and tan. And I like the story, but I already knew it. It was just slightly better than aiight for me. Oh, and as an actor, Tim McGraw is a really good singer.

GRADE: C+

Well, I think that's about all I've seen lately. Some quick hits: Chris Nolan has officially signed on to do the next Batman movie, so that's a relief. And the next Spider-Man movie will be in 3D. So that will be cool. I just hope it's a good movie and no one from Twilight plays the title character. I swear I won't go see it. Oh, and Inception and Iron Man 2 are the main movies on my radar for this summer. That new Alice in Wonderland movie looks colossally stupid. Hey, Tim Burton, did you know Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter aren't the only two actors on the planet? I also read that The Flash is going to start pre-production, and there will be a Wonder Woman movie as well. I'm excited about The Flash, although I was hoping Ryan Reynolds would play him. But Ryan Reynolds is already playing Green Lantern. So I don't know who they're going to get to play The Flash, but they'd better not screw this up. I don't know why, but I've always been partial to The Flash. One of those things you can't explain, I guess. I do have a suggestion for Wonder Woman though . . . not Megan Fox. Seriously, you want to screw this up from the get-go, cast her as Wonder Woman. Huge mistake. Personally, a few years ago, I would have gone with Angie Harmon. But now, I'd try to get someone a tad younger and more current. I wonder if Scarlett Johansson would consider dying her hair? Just kidding. I'll think of someone good for both Wonder Woman and The Flash. Maybe next time.