Monday, December 19, 2016

My 25 of 2016

Sorry I lied to everyone. I wanted to have this list out this past Friday, but The xx messed everyone up with their late entry and I totally had to reshuffle. The truth is, this was the hardest year to pick a true number one, as any of my top 8 have, at some point, held that cherished position. However, you have to go with something at some point, and so here it is. As always, I encourage everyone to make a favorites list and share with the world, if for no other reason that just because it’s fun. So here it is, my favorite 25 songs of 2016.

25. “The Palest of Them All” — Lawrence Arabia
I don’t know much about this dude, except he’s kind of odd and had one of the best songs a couple years ago called “Apple Pie Bed” which I still have no clue about the meaning of. Either way, it’s a nice little song. Light little ditty that easily can get stuck in your head all day.
24. Real Love Baby” — Father John Misty
Ok, forgive me. I don’t listen to a lot of Fleet Foxes, but are they even still a thing? I feel like he’s had a lot more commercial success as a solo artist, and I think he’s the drummer. Can someone help me out here? If he’s the drummer, I guess that explains why I like him so much. Everyone knows the drummer is the key to any great band.
23. “QB Sneak” — Active Bird Community
I think these guys are pretty young, but I like their sound. Another one of those songs that at first blush, I didn’t think much of. But I kept hearing it and found myself singing it throughout the day. They’ve got some good music. Still don’t know anything about them.
22. “Can’t Have Them" — Hockey Dad
This band is from New Zealand, which is close to Australia, right? That explains this then. Actually, the last few years I’ve kinda gotten into that surf rock sound. Wavves, Surfer Blood, Cayucas … I find myself drawn to their music. This group falls in line with that ilk. Great album, by the way. 
21. “First World Problem” — Unknown Mortal Orchestra
I think this is one of those bands that is just like one guy and studio musicians. I have a chance to see them a couple years ago, but I bailed, so I feel like I missed out. I think there is a new album in the works. The last one was amazing. Looking forward to more.
20. “All I Ever Wonder” — St. Paul and the Broken Bones
This is why you go to $12 concerts by yourself, kids. Went to see them at the Continental Club three years ago, maybe? Yeah, they hung out after an amazing show and talked to a group of people for about an hour. I got to meet Paul Janeway and he’s one of the nicest guys. We talked about Alabama and barbecue and he wanted to hang out more, but I had to go. It was awkward. But seriously, they put on one of the most amazingly intense live shows I’ve ever seen. And they opened for the Stones a year after that. I don’t think I’ll get to see them for $12 anymore. I bet we’ll still hang out, though.
19. “Berlin Got Blurry” — Parquet Courts
Again, a band I know nothing about. I will say the bass line to this songs totally reminds me of that “Jesus is a Friend of Mine” video on the YouTubes. If you haven't seen it, listen to it and then listen to this song and see if I’m close to right. Either way, it’s a smooth song.
18. “Mascara” — Megan Nicole
First, don’t judge me. Second, I’ve always thought The National should do an album of pop song covers. They could do some T-Swift, maybe some Miley. I don’t know. It just makes me laugh to think about. So when you listen to this song, imagine it Matt Berninger singing it and laugh away.
17. “I Don’t Care About You” — Lake Street Dive
Real conversation between me and my (kinda) friend, Leigh Ann. 
Me: “Hey, you should listen to this band Lake Street Dive”
LA: “I told you that months ago.”
Me: “Did you? I guess I wasn’t listening.”
LA: “I’m used to it. You never listen to anything I say.”
Me: “What?”
16. “Every Time I’m Ready To Hug” — Ra Ra Riot
Finally got to see them this year, and of course it’s post-Alexandra Lawn, but whatever. I’m not bitter. The drummer is amazing. He killed it all night. And they have a great sound and put on a really good show. Seriously “Can You Tell” is one of my all-time favorite songs and probably always will be. Side note: If you need someone to go to a concert with you, might I suggest inviting Robyn Archer? You will definitely get to the front of the stage. I seriously don’t know how she does it. It’s like Jedi powers or something. 
15. “Drugs” — Dreamers
Ok, so this song is not literally about drugs. It’s a metaphor. You’re just going to have to take the band’s word for that. It’s a pretty rocking song, and the list needed some rock desperately after that Megan Nicole fiasco.
14. “Get Out” — Frightened Rabbit
If I’m not mistaken, they toured with Caveman, and they came to Houston. And I was not there. So that’s on me. This is just one of those songs that make you think about something you lost and is honestly pretty depressing. Maybe The National will cover it.
13. “Never Going Back” — Caveman
If I’m not mistaken, they toured with Frightened Rabbit, and they came to Houston. And I was not there. So that’s on me. The more I listen to them, the more I like them. I really don’t know what it is about this song. It just stays with me, haunts me, depresses me. Maybe The National will cover it.
12. “Do You Remember” — St. Lucia
Can you believe this song fell out of the top ten? It was in the top five all summer. That shows you why it was so hard to finish this list. Lots more late entries this year than in previous years. Listen to this song and try to stay still. Can’t do it, can you? The whole album is like this. 
11. “The Sound” — The 1975
Ok, this is a really fun song. They have a lot of really fun songs. But then you listen to some of them and you’re like “Guys …… really?” Then I have to explain to the girls why we can’t listen to the rest of the album. Or why I can’t take them to a concert. I’m not ticky tacky when it comes to music, but there’s a point at which it just becomes unnecessary and forced. Ladies and gentlemen … The 1975.
10. “Radio of Lips” — The Joy Formidable
I will buy anything they put out. They rock and the lead singer’s name is Ritzy. She’s amazing and an amazing guitarist. And their drummer is so unreal. YouTube the live version of “Whirring” and tell me I’m not right. There is also an acoustic version of this song on the YouTubes and it’s pretty amazing as well. They’re on my bucket list to go see. By the way, they were also in Houston in October, but I had to pick between them and Costello, and … well, you know. Come on … it’s Elvis Costello, guys.
9. “Coins” — Local Natives
This is a band that apparently I’m going to have to get to know, which is not uncommon. I kind of blew them off for a little while, but then this song just got to me. I don’t know anything about them, but this song is slow and cool and feels like a … slow, cool song.
8. “Love as a Weapon” — Little Scream
Such a cool, funky song. Maybe the best singalong of the group. Ok, let me take that back. Depends on what you like to sing along to I guess. It’s just a cool jam. One of those songs you can’t turn off. I think this is one of those solo artists and she just named herself a band name to take the attention away from the fact that her name is Mildred Pattycake or something.
7. “On Hold” — The xx
I have no doubt if this song had come out earlier in the year, it would be number one. I am currently listening to it on rotation, just ask my kids. I will go see them if they tour with their upcoming album. I think it’s due in February. This again is one of those bands that is so not in my wheelhouse personally, but they’re just so good. And they write the most beautiful songs. I mean, just sheer beauty in their music. They had my favorite song of like 2012 with “Angels” which is another beautiful song. I love her voice. It’s like an angel mixed with another angel or something. Not real good with the metaphors. And they have perfected the little four beat break between verses. Anyway, they’re on the bucket list. This should have been my favorite song. I’m just not a prisoner of the moment kind of guy. It’s not fair to those who have gutted it out all year.
6. “Slash/Burn” — Thao and the Get Down Stay Down
What a cool song. I honestly don’t know why I like it. It does not at all sound like something I would listen to, but I honestly thought it was going to be my favorite for the year. This whole album is just funky, and the bass on this song takes a front seat. Listen to it. Love it. Tell me why I like it so much.
5. “Pretty Dumb, Pretty Lame” — Peter Bjorn and John
Ok, so no joke, they had my favorite album of 2016. Imagine ELO and Abba got together and made an album. Then Peter Bjorn and John listened to it and said, “Guys, we should do something to pay homage to this record.” That’s what this is. And this song is so doggone catchy, and probably has my favorite line of any song on the countdown”
“So you think you can hit the sky/if you feed the machine that the industry drives/is it worth all the souls you’ll destroy on the ride?”
No idea what that means, but it’s super cool.
4. “Crying in the Sunshine” — Miniature Tigers
I don’t do as many Spider-Man videos as I used to. Sorry. SPOILER ALERT: That’s me in that mask, guys. But this song prompted me, no … COMPELLED me to do one. There’s nothing deep or meaningful about this song, I don’t think. It’s just fun to dance to when you’re wearing a Spider-Man mask. Or so the wall-crawler tells me (wink).
3. “Lazer Gun Show” — Hey Geronimo
I am so ashamed of myself because I just knew this was going to be number one. I told my friend Conner that everyone was going to be singing “HEY! HO! WHERE DID THE SUN GO?” all year long. And that didn’t happen. But this is a great album from a great band that I am holding out hope will one day come to America. They’re Australian. I like Australian bands. It has to have something to do with Rick Springfield, Men at Work, and the fact that Olivia Newton-John was my first celebrity crush. Yeah, that’s probably it.
2. “Silly Me” — Yeasayer
Second best album I bought this year, and by far … by far the best show I saw. I thought they’d be good, but I had no idea they’d be that good. It was such a fun atmosphere. Everything was upbeat and I said I would be fine as long as they played three songs: Silly Me, Ambling Alp and O.N.E … then they played them all three back to back to back. So they listen to their fans as well. Seriously, if you want to go to see them, I will travel. They are worth it. Best $20 I may have ever spent on a concert, and I’m not joking. They’re so good.
1. “Don’t” — Larkin Poe
Ok, so I saw they were opening for Costello so I started listening to them and I got hooked. The only bad thing is the audience they were playing to is probably not their target audience. Let me put it this way. Rarely do I attend a show in which I actually bring the average age of the audience down. But that’s what they were dealing with. And they killed it. And they closed their set with “Bang Bang” and I thought I was going to die. They are that good. They’re going to be big. Imagine if Jack White did an album with Haim, and let’s also just assume that Haim was actually talented. You might get something like Larkin Poe. This song is a little more pop than the other songs on their new album. And I got to meet them and they were so nice and I completely made an idiot out of myself. “So you guys are from Atlanta? I love Atlanta. I eat at the Varsity a lot.” Because, you know, all there is to do in Atlanta is eat at The Varsity. Anyway, they were nice. And while any of these songs could have been number one, I looked Rebecca Lovell in the eye and told her “Don’t” is my favorite song of 2016. And you try lying to Rebecca Lovell. Seriously, they are so rocking. 


So there you have it. Looking forward to hearing some of your favorite music from the year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, y’all.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Trolling, Trolling, Trolling

Let me start by saying this is stupid and you can't hate me more than I hate myself for doing this.

That being said, I don't have any more money today than I did yesterday. I am not younger or more handsome. I am no closer to being famous and driving a Porsche than I was before the NBA Championship was played. Neither of my teams lost (though we were rooting for Harrison/McAdoo and against Kyrie bc even though he only played 11 games in college he's still a Dookie). I am pretty much not affected at all by last night's outcome. I am not a LeBron fan, mainly because everyone compares him to Jordan which is absolutely laughable, but that's what we do. We live in the moment and everything that is happening now is the greatest ever. If LeBron had won his titles in the 90s and MJ was in his prime now, it would be the same way. Whatever is happening now is the greatest.
Having said that, let's just pump the brakes on "LeBron is the greatest ever" nonsense, because that's what it is. It's utter nonsense and borderline insulting. LeBron may be the greatest you've seen and that's totally fair. I actually may not think Jordan is the greatest if I had seen Wilt play. I don't know. And you can't know, because the eye test says more than stats ever can. Trust me, as Marino's place in the record book continues to fade into the distance, it gets more and more difficult to convince people who didn't see him play (and some that did) how good a QB he really is, mainly because he doesn't have a couple rings. The point I'm trying to make is that I no longer care, because I've learned that sports is completely subjective and stats can be manipulated. It is impossible for anyone who roots for a team or individual to remain objective when it comes to that athlete or team's place in history. They are the best to me, so I have to convince everyone they are dumb for not agreeing with me. We have to have something to argue about, because what is life if I can't be right? How about just being a fan? Apparently we can't do that because we all want to be associated with not only greatness, but the greatest ever in the history of anything. It somehow gives us value. How about we try valuing what we love and if someone else doesn't, who gives a rip? Why should I care what someone else thinks, unless I'm employed by them or owe them something?
You know what I enjoy? I enjoy having intelligent conversations with people who don't have the same opinions as I do. If you are passionate about it, and respect my right to be the same, we're going to get along fine. But let me say this: If you're a Patriots fan, and you can't decide if you'd take Brady or Manning to win a big game, walk away. Do not come at me with that, because if you're a Patriots fan, you don't spend one second on that decision. And I will say this, when it comes to arguing sports and such, I would say I'm the LeBron/Jordan of such. And when you come at the King, you'd better not miss. Thing is, I don't need to argue over junk. I'm not going to convince you. You're sure as heck not going to convince me, so why waste the oxygen? I could be using that time to post recipes, my views on politics and hate articles on Facebook. But I also enjoy trolling on the internet. So I'm kind of a hypocrite in that way, except I don't care which side of the fence you're on. I'm not even talking about anything I believe in. I just said I believe I'll see if I can't make you angry today. It's really more of a hobby for people who have no perspective. Just trying to help people put things in their place.
I know nothing will change, but my mind has. I don't care if Coach K has more wins and titles, Dean Smith will always be the greatest college basketball coach of all-time. I don't care if/when Belichick passes Shula, he'll never surpass him in my mind. And look, I'm not saying LeBron isn't an all-time great. But he'll never be Jordan, and for that matter, in my mind, he'll never be Magic. In fact, he just recently passed Dr. J on my list and I can't even talk about it. So have fun blowing everything out of proportion, internet. I'll just be over here shooing kids off my lawn. This is the end of my rant, and possibly several friendships.